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02 August 2012 @ 01:23 am
This is absolutely hilarious. If it weren't for Y, I'd never think of coming back to post on this livejournal. Memories abound in this blog, but looking back, most of the posts were angsty and full of negative emotions. :O 


Kinda rusty at posting stuff online now, so this is gonna be a short post that relates to nothing in particular. I really don't know if I should be glad, relieved, or maybe disappointed that I'm still the same ol' procrastinator I used to be two years back.

On another note, Llangollen in 2013? The risks are huge though; I'd have to convince the parents, earn my own money for the trip, and consider if I'm actually up to the challenge. 
Tags: , ,
i feel: blahblah
music at the moment: No Stone Unturned - The Dark Knight Rises Original Movie Soundtrack
31 January 2011 @ 01:52 am

So even though we got the tickets really late, but SS3 was worth the money and the screaming and the fangirling and the possibility of getting our eardrums split because it was JUST. SUPER. :D :D


29 Jan 2011, never forgetting this day for a long time mannn. XDCollapse )
i feel: bouncybouncy
12 January 2011 @ 11:57 am
So when I think back to the reason that prompted me to create this account, I laugh at myself because that reason was ludicrous and come on, things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to turn out anyway.

And now that some time has passed, someone whom I thought I knew quite well just simply didn't turn out to be the person I thought she was. And that's brilliant, really, because now that I finally know what kind of a person you are, I can stop decieving myself and stop letting myself being manipulated by you. The things I did for you? The hell.

Looking forward to the sexy and bad Rocky Horror tomorrow, I still can't believe we saw the cast backstage! HAHAHA. :D
i feel: cheerfulcheerful
14 August 2010 @ 08:23 pm
No one will see this, because this lj's been dead for so long. But a part of me wants someone to see this, because I don't know how to take it anymore.

I'm scared. Freaking terrified of what might happen, what I don't want to happen. It's that sense of despair and desolation, and like what R said, "fear and worry", because I'm terrified that I'll do damn badly.

I don't know how to catch up, how to throw all thoughts away so I can concentrate, how not to worry and worry and worry every single second, how to be genuinely happy, because I don't know how. I just don't.

Times like these, I realize the importance of family. How they're always by your side no matter what, even after having seen the worst sides of you. How they'll never lose hope in you, no matter how far down you've gone. How, just by seeing them everyday, there's the slight lifting of spirits, even if momentarily.

I don't want to be alone. Not now, during this period, not in the future, not even till I've passed on. Because the void is obsolete, the darkness forbidding, I need people to be with me.

I'm crying. Crying because no matter what I tell myself, what I tell people, I'm scared. Apprehensive, doubtful, because I don't want to let people down. My family, myself, my friends. But I don't know how to stop being scared.

Help me.
07 June 2010 @ 03:16 am

Watching SnN and seeing you all flustered and confused around her doesn't let me forget the fact that you're this awesome singer with huge vocals and flowing emotions; seeing you doing those slick dance moves during your solo debut performances doesn't take away the fact that you're this goofy piece of funny that doesn't need to try hard to make everyone laugh; watching your drama trailer and cringing at the weird eye expressions you have all the time doesn't take away that awe I have for how high you can go in singing even though you sing the bass parts; much as I don't like it at all, it's the three of you and the two of them now.

I wish I could have been there at your concert, because one more person in the dome would mean that the pain the three of you felt would be lesser, because we'd all be sharing the pain with you. I'd be in the stands, telling you again and again to stop crying, to not cry anymore, but I'd be crying along with you, because this concert is everything. Not because the time has come for you to return to the stage, but because this signfies a new start from all the conflict from last year, for the three of you to come out and face whatever may come, like butterflies emerging from their cocoons.

I'm proud of the three of you, because you didn't know what the outcome was going to be like, but yet put your heart, mind and soul in preparing, recording, practising, praying for the concert to be a success. Because you said this is where you truly belong, that you'd be most comfortable in a place no other than the stage. And because we truly felt those emotions from each of you when you sang, the struggle, the confusion, the sadness, the wistfulness, and of all, the hope. The hope that everyone would accept the three of you despite the break.

The concert wasn't extravagant compared to the previous ones, no fantastic routines, flashing spotlights and smoke, glamourous costumes; you gave it in nothing but the truth - black and white, with new songs and new harmonies, and we know and recognize that effort.

Because we love you, and we're proud of you.

i feel: calmcalm
06 June 2010 @ 09:28 pm
OH DAMN. Jealous as hell now because someone twittered pics of SJ's showcase just now, LQ but still! ):

Though it's somewhat of a comfort when you think of the money you'd have to pay for one ticket, either buy the horribly expensive phone or go to the black market and get it at a price that's totally not worth it for an hour's showcase.

But then again, it's their first trip here, and it's incredible that they'd give an hour-long showcase, considering their tight schedule and how drained they are nowadays. Yay. (y) :D

But ZOMG THEY'RE IN SINGAPORE NOW WHAT DYOU WANT ME TO DO NOWWWW. ): shucks oh no I want to stalk them.
i feel: crushedcrushed
music at the moment: Easy (Sincere Ver.) - B2ST
02 June 2010 @ 04:48 pm
(Hee I think Siwon's a really good uncle to his niece, it's kinda easy to imagine how much goofing they do around, but then it's a little weird to imagine him like that, but he's human after all, so. :D)

Just realized on Monday that Novena's actually quite a nice place to study in, makes me wanna go back there (like today, but look at me now -.-), but somehow novena's boringggg. But it still makes me wanna go there and study, but. :/

Sunday's gonna be pivotal, I don't know whether I should go see them, because I know if I do, my holidays/study torture are just gonna be damn screwed and I'll fail big time. On the other hand, if I don't go to see them, C's just gonna brag and brag and brag and make me all jealous and miserable and I'd regret not having gone to see them in the first place and yadayada cue drama please. :/ Actually maybe I should make Sunday an incentive for me to study as much as possible. :O
i feel: contemplativecontemplative
28 May 2010 @ 12:54 am

So Super Junior's coming next month, and so naturally I'm ecstatic and jumping and hyperventilating and all, but GUESS WHAT ohhhh only selected people can attend the mini concert, blasphemy I swear. Like only people who buy the new Samsung phone or sign up for a new phone plan can get the tickets, and even that's only for a fixed number of people who sign up first. -.-

Brilliant advertising and sales plan, you. And you get lots of hate in the process because it's plain effing unreasonable, wth.

Damn damn dayum I wanna see them live! Pleasepleaseplease let some miracle happen and let sistic or something sell official tickets pleaseplease. ):

i feel: crushedcrushed
music at the moment: 素直になれなくて - 菅原紗由理
Hmmkay so I've spent my day looking for new layouts (and failing) and watching Cinderella's Sister in between, good job Jolene you've just wasted a whole day doing absolutely nothing.

Supposed to study out today but ended up waking so late, dreams really do make one lazy and unrealistic.

Actually it's the beginning of a long period of torture as I try to catch up on everything that I've missed, which is basically much the whole syllabus, ouch. :/

Then again, they make me feel all better:

(: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:
i feel: calmcalm
24 May 2010 @ 12:40 am
Please please please rest your voice, I don't want you to force yourself when you're in this state. I love your voice, and it just hurts so bad when you're there doing all that you can to make the whole thing a success, but in the process killing yourself.

My goodness, let them rest, please.
i feel: depresseddepressed